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Is your spouse special? Expect divorce to be harder

On Behalf of | May 18, 2022 | Divorce

The world is full of people you could have married, but you chose one in particular. So, they were clearly pretty special to you at the time. The problem comes when they are the ones that think they are special.

As important as it is to appreciate ourselves for our unique qualities, some people take that too far. Their sense of specialness can turn into a sense of entitlement that makes being married to them a hellish experience. If that is your experience, you should expect your divorce and future dealings to be equally challenging. If you share kids, you may have to deal with this for years to come.

Forgiveness is key to an easy divorce and future

If you can forgive your partner for their part in how your marriage turned out, and they can forgive you, it makes it much easier to put the past behind you and work together to do what you need to. Finalizing divorce arrangements and co-parenting will all be easier if you forgive each other and accept that not all marriages work out.

A Dutch study looked to see if you can predict forgiveness in divorcing couples. They found that if one person had narcissistic tendencies, the chances they could forgive were slim. They were far more likely to believe the other person had wronged them and that their spouse alone was to blame for ruining everything. Sadly that tends to translate into a narcissistic partner making things difficult both during the divorce and after.

Every divorce is unique and requires unique solutions. Finding someone willing to take the time to understand your situation and develop a personalized divorce plan will be crucial.