Many parents automatically think about getting as much custody as possible when they divorce. It often ends in bitter court battles as each party tries to gain more at the other party’s expense.
Sometimes there are valid reasons to fight to ensure your child lives with you all the time. For example, if the other parent presents a threat to them. Or if one parent wants to move out of state.
Many also believe living with one parent provides more stability for the child. Yet many kids successfully flit between two homes, and the stability that regular contact provides might outweigh any downsides.
Children benefit when both parents continue to play a major role in their lives. You can still achieve this when the child lives with one parent all the time, but not to the same extent, as you miss out on those small but important moments together, such as lazy Saturday mornings or bedtime stories.
How can it benefit you, the adults?
Up to now, you shared responsibility for raising your child. The exact parenting ratio varies from family to family, but you still supported each other.
When you went out for the night, your spouse looked after your child and vice versa. When you could no longer face the sight of Lego, you could tell your child to go ask their other parent to play. Yes, you are parents, but you are also individuals with your own needs. If you allow your child to split living time between you, it gives you the breaks you need and makes it easier for your child to get the support they need.
Consider finding out more about how this could work before entering custody negotiations.
