Divorces often start with the words, “We need to talk.” Yet, if you are parents, the need to talk does not suddenly stop once you finalize your divorce. You need to keep talking for years to come to raise your child.
Communicating with your ex can be extremely challenging, but you cannot parent in mutual silence. Hopefully, communication will become easier as the tensions recede with time, but here are some tips to help you meanwhile:
Remember, you are doing it for the kids
Your kids need you to talk to each other. Keeping this at the forefront of your mind can help you overcome challenging moments.
Make the conversations you have strictly about the children and avoid letting them drift off topic to who did what to do five years ago.
Find an easy way to communicate
If talking face to face is difficult, try making it less personal. For example, agree not to discuss things when you hand over the kids but instead call about anything later or put it in a message. It can reduce the chance of sudden flare-ups in front of the kids.
Shared calendars or parenting apps can also remove much of the need to talk about small scheduling details, as you can keep everyone informed by adding the necessary information there.
Take time for yourself
Make self-care a priority. If you are feeling good, you are less likely to stay upset with yoru ex for too long. Seeking therapeutic help can also enable you to deal with encounters with your ex better.
Finally, make sure you get legal help to handle your divorce. You will likely find it much easier to communicate with your ex if you are happy with the deal you get on issues such as custody and property division.
